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CRABAPPLE EYES & CRISPY SKIN, USA, 1958

Crabapple Eyes & Crispy Skin

I have no idea who these people are. They both wear glasses and have the same pale complexion. She is taller and more dressed up than he. He is casual in his windowpane check shirt loosely tucked into pleated pants She is semi-formal in velvet trimmed black taffeta. Apparently, they are celebrating some momentous occasion that calls for a roast beast buffet.

But the big question is what kind of beast is it? One would assume that it’s a sucking pig fresh out of the imu pit. But it looks more like a Shetland suckling pony to me!

The fact that this beastly buffet is a little blurry doesn’t stop me from sharing with you. I never discriminate against a slide just because it’s a little bit out of focus! Oh no! Our eyes will auto-focus it for us.

It’s certainly clear enough to see that the skin of the mystery mammal has been slathered generously with butter to make it golden brown and delicious to eat. And that those crabapple eyes came out of the same jar as the ones scattered on what looks to be mashed potato mounds piled on little, random bouquets of parsley. Yum-yum! The oranges halved and hollowed appear to be stuffed with yams topped with marshmallows that look melted but somehow not browned.

Everything but the sliced ham (or are those napkins?) is served on tinfoil. And let’s face it, tinfoil ads such a nice sparkly space-age touch to a table. It goes so well with the silverware.

Look closely and you will see that this sensational spread is symmetrical except for the mis-matched Jell-O molds. That’s not a half-eaten ring- mold; it must be the rarely used fish-in-a-crescent-shape mold. But they are the same artificial color. Yum yum!

Here’s to this beastly buffet and your future recreation of it!!!