A giant Amish couple lures tourists into America’s most charming miniature display. That would make Shartlesville the land of the giants and miniatures. The lady, looking retro rural in her bow tied bonnet and matching apron, seems to be petting an invisible dog. The man holding a pitchfork and waving what should be a gloved and sequined hand, looks just like the gloved one to me.

This is especially odd since these two have been sitting on the platform doubling as a billboard since, according to the guy that answers the phone at Roadside America, at least 1963. And, yes, they are still there. I didn’t have the nerve, (I thought it would be impolite) to ask him if anyone ever else ever noticed the resemblance.

Of all the classic roadside attractions in America, Roadside America is definitely on my top ten list of places I most want to visit. According to their site, it’s an unforgettable panorama of life in rural United States. The 6000 sq ft. exhibit spans more than two hundred years in time and lets you see, in exquisite miniature, how people lived and worked in pioneer days… through the years since then… right up to the present.

What they mean by the present is 1961, since nothing has been changed since Laurence T. Gieringer, the man who spent most of his life created the amazing experience, died that year. I hear the highlight of the show is when night falls over the display and Kate Smith sings “God Bless America”. If that’s not Americana… I don’t know what is!

Here’s to Michael Jackson, Roadside America, Kate Smith and YOU!

Los Angeles, CA
March 11, 2010

A giant paper mâché turtle on wheels trails a trio of local teen girls perched on a Chrysler product parading through he heart of town. The beautiful bubble windshield tells us it’s a Chrysler, but who cares what kind of a car it is when its covered from stem to stern in spellbinding stripes of buttercup yellow and sea-foam green toilet paper flowers. I love America… but I love Americana even more! And if this isn’t Americana I don’t know what is!

The waving girls, in their formals, elegant elbow-length gloves, teased hair and tiaras are crowned royalty of the annual Joshua Tree Turtle Races. I have no idea what happened to the royals, but I do know what happened to the turtle and the turtle races. The annual races, which began in 1946, were, by the early 70s, deemed “turtle abuse” and were shut down for good in 1975. The giant paper mâché turtle served as a prototype to a permanent cement “Myrtle Turtle” that remains to this day in Joshua Tree as a local mascot, displayed somewhere in the heart of town. I’ve never seen Myrtle in person, have you? When you do, please make sure to say hello… and send pix!

Once you pull your eyes away from the girls, the turtle, and that mesmerizing display of toilet paper flowers, it’s time to savor the super signage of America’s first nation wide supermarket chain, A & P. Just as the store front informs us, A & P Food Store was established in 1859, in NYC to be exact. A & P is short for Atlantic Coffee and Pacific Tea Co. Not only did A & P sell food, they entertained and informed too. In 1924, A & P Radio Hour became the first nation-wide radio program. In 1928 they began publishing Woman’s Day Magazine, which remains on newsstands, and my mother’s magazine rack, to this day. A & P is now celebrating 150 years!

Here’s to Myrtle Turtle and her royal court, toilet paper flower covered Chrysler products, A & P and YOU!

Los Angeles, CA
February 18, 2010

I love a beautiful family portrait! But never more than when the family is posed in front of a canned ham trailer and least two of them are dressed alike. In this case its his and hers Hawaiian print shirts. Truly inspired!

The trailer, with its door and windows open like its saying “ahhhh,” is nothing less than stunning. That sea foam green and custard yellow two-tone finish is gorgeous! How much are we lovin’ the deep blue desert sky reflected in the aluminum window frames and the honey blond wood screen door with burnt orange curtains gathered like moms brown mustard skirt. And if you like Venetian blinds the way I do there are some of those hangin’ in that trailer too! Don’t miss the classically cuffed Levi’s. If this isn’t Americana I don’t know what is!

UPCOMING SHOWS FEB 19 & 20
Speaking of PALM SPRINGS… I hope you can make it to my RETRO SLIDE SHOW there Friday night, FEB19 at the ACE HOTEL. Come early for the vintage trailer show and… to meet my Portland pals, Jeff and Kelly, (I call them “Jelly”) of Vintage Roadside, who will be peddling their amazing T-shirts! It’s all part of Palm Springs Modernism Week. FUN!

If you you’re not desert bound perhaps you can make it to the world’s greatest Camellia showplace, DESCANSO GARDENS, (located just 15 minutes north of downtown LA, in La Canada,) for my RETRO SLIDE SHOW Saturday night, FEB 20. Have you ever had a Camellia Martini? Neither have I. This is your chance! As always, festive dress is encouraged but not expected!

Here’s to Trailer Family Portraits, Palm Springs Modernism Show, Descano’s Camellia Forrest and YOU!

Los Angeles, CA
February 10, 2010

A man posing between a beautiful bongo drum and colorful display of plastic wrapped jazz albums predicts the Pee-Wee Herman look. Strike a pose there is nothing to it! That gray glen plaid suit over a white shirt finished with a red bow tie is in no uncertain terms an AMERICANA classic of the highest order. And so is Pee-Wee.

Speaking of…I went to see his new live “Pee-Wee’s Playhouse” show here in LA the other night. When the curtain opened and I saw the Playhouse set it didn’t take me long to figure out that this had to be the most incredible set I’ve ever seen on a stage. Whatta thrill it was to see Pee-Wee walk out on that stage. The audience went wild. He looks great! It was quite the flashback-to-the-80s thrill to spend an hour and half in the Playhouse with him and the whole gang. The “secret word” was ‘FUN’ and it was! My imagination was inspired and spirit soared!

Actually I never did see the beloved Pee-Wee’s Playhouse show when it originally aired on CBS Saturday mornings for five seasons beginning in 1986. Which reminds me of the time I was with Paul- Pee-Wee-Herman-Rueben’s several years ago on a trip to the Adirondacks in beautiful upstate NY. We were both guests, along with several others, at a mutual friends’ family camp on a beautiful lake. One morning while everyone was deciding what to do that day I said, “does anyone want to go with me to Enchanted Forrest, the all original, 1956 children’s fairy tale theme park?” It was just up the road and I really wanted to see it. Everyone said, “no thanks,” but Paul.

The next thing I knew I was the passenger in the front seat of his big Buick rent-a-car and we were speeding thru the woods on our way. We got there and the place was even better than I had hoped. He had no shortage of fans gawking even with his baseball-cap-and-sunglasses disguise. The whole time I’m saying to myself, I just can’t believe I’m at the Enchanted Garden with Pee-Wee Herman! The most memorable moment of our excursion came on the ride back to camp when I told him that I had never seen even one episode of Pee-Wee’s Playhouse. Immediately he pulled over the car to the side of the road and said “Get out of the car!” I still laugh about that.

Here’s to Pee-Wee, his playhouse, big adventure, the wannabe and YOU!

Los Angeles, CA
February 3, 2010

This is not an art installation in a snooty, big city gallery or museum. (Although it could be and should be.) This is the perky polka dotted wall of a sunshine state souvenir stand dressed with dozens kooky characters. They are to coconuts what tiki gods are to palm tree trunks. Each is hanging there just waiting to be bought, bagged and taken to a new, more permanent home like a patio, tiki bar or rumpus room. Each one has been carefully carved, painted and finished by hand then imported from the exotic island it came from for our pleasure.

Together on the wall they’re certainly mesmerizing and nearly hypnotizing. They look at you every time you walk in the room. No two are exactly the same. Each has his, (or her) own personality. I’m not sure that today they would all pass the test of political correctness. Which one would you choose? Or do you just want them all?

Among the many reasons that coco palms are among my favorites in the world of trees is the fact that they give us coconuts, some up to 100 a year. (Thank you coco palms!) We eat the hearts out of palms too. They also give us milk. And if you need, or want to, you can even build yourself a nice tropical hut out of a palm tree too. Do palms ever stop giving?

I was never cuckoo for Coca Puffs. (Give me Lucky Charms or Captain Crunch any day.) But I’ve always been cuckoo for coconut. Put the word coconut in front of shrimp, cake, cream pie, macaroons and milk and you’ve got yummy, yummy in your tummy. Mix it with pineapple and you’ve got the ultimate exotic tropical isle taste treat sensation of the highest order!

The word coconut is so much fun to say too. But why are coconuts called coconuts when they are neither cocoa nor nuts. Hmmm! Confusing aren’t they. They’re not even fruits. According to coconut experts, they are seeds. If I plant one will it grow?

Here’s to coconuts, coconut characters, coco palms and YOU!

January 21, 2010
Los Angeles

This is what happens when a playground equipment designer watches the movie Frankenstein one too many times on the late, late show. The screws are a dead giveaway.

It’s a playful tribute to the sci-fi superstar stylized as a cross between a giant toy robot and birdcage with googly eyes, and long reaching arms that double as side-by-side slides.

Beautifully finished in a striking shade of bright orange the monster stands out in the master planned suburban scale sandbox his feet are stuck in.

Three floors up two children play inside his head while a young lady is hunched over on the first floor of his two-story torso. He is part observation deck, part thrill ride, part jungle gym, and part pop art for the park.

By any playground standards, artistic or otherwise, before or since, this park monster is amazing!

Here’s to he monster, the playful pop art in the park and YOU!

January 16, 2010
Los Angeles

Cat-eyed teenage girls consume chocolate frosted white sheet cake in a less than dainty manner sure not to please their charm school teacher. Their painted lips match the traditional print on the slip-covered sofa they are gathered on. Plastic straws in several pastel shades emerge from mostly empty bottles of Pepsi, America’s second favorite refreshing cola beverage,. The beautiful bottles share the coffee table with festive napkins, forks and plates of uneaten remains of hot dogs and pork and beans.

The South gave us soft drinks! We have North Carolina to thank for Pepsi, the sparkling cola beverage with the peppy name. A pharmacist there first concocted it in 1898, several years after Coca Cola was first consumed in neighboring Georgia where it was invented in 1885. The Coca Cola we drink to day is a bit different than the original formula. But it’s still addictive. No, the Coca name didn’t come from coconut, it came from cocaine. Scandalous! The granddaddy of all soft drinks began, according to the legend, as refreshing, attitude altering beverage called cocawine, a blend of cocaine and wine. How festive!

Speaking of Coca Cola… have you seen the NEW Coca-Cola can shaped like the classic coke bottle? You won’t believe your eyes! And it’s SO adorable! I hadn’t seen it until I opened up my hotel room fridge in Seattle and there it was. I could believe it! It’s as though a can and a bottle had a baby. I was a FOOL not to grab one… and of course now I can’t find one anywhere.

Speaking of cake have you made a Cherpumple yet? I DARE YOU TO TRY! Click here to see how!

Here’s to cake with Pepsi, Coke with coke, and YOU!

January 7, 2010
Los Angeles

A basement ceiling bouquet of colorful crepe paper hangs twisted and streaming over a pair of party guests posing with nylon stockings stretched over their heads. Why collectively as a society have we turned our backs on crepe paper as party decor? It’s SO festive and fun! And covering our heads with nylons for memorable party portraits, what has happened to that New Years tradition? Perhaps it never was one. But it’s never too late to make it one… in 2010. Yes, two thousand ten. It has such a SCI-FI ring to it. We really are living in the future! Lets savor it and make the most of every moment.

Here’s to a happy crepe paper and nylon new years and YOU!

…and Happy New DECADE TOO!

December 31, 2009
Los Angeles

Master flocker Larry Deminter, proudly poses with one of his very special Christmas confections. Freshly flocked trees are his holiday specialty. This one is a tri-toned tabletop tree in lime, light pink and bright pink. Larry can flock a tree any color you want including black.

Frankly, I’ve always had a wondering eye for flocked Christmas trees, especially when flocked in color. So this year when I spotted lime green, periwinkle blue and peach flocked trees displayed at the local neighborhood tree lot I pulled the car right up and hopped without skipping a beat. Standing beneath the red and white striped tent and surrounded by a impressive, fragrant selection of fine cut pines a variety of shapes and sizes my imagination was inspired and my spirit soared. After several questions including how many flocking colors do you have? And how many colors can u do on a single tree? The answers were 15 and two or three, I ordered tall tree flocked in shocking pink. Curious about flocking, (isn’t everyone?), and how one becomes a flocker, I introduced myself to the flocker and I got more than I bargained for.

I began talking to Larry and was quite impressed by his family history in the tree business. Turns out he learned the seasonal tree trade when he was boy. His father began selling Christmas tress at the corner of Central and Vernon Avenues in South LA in 1950. His family maintains that lot to this day every holiday season in addition to three others in Culver City, Hollywood and the Los Feliz Costco parking lot, where I met him and this image was captured.

Over the next few days I returned to the lot several times and ordered two more flocked trees -the tri-tone u see in the pic and another in fire engine red knick-named the “Red Devil” Christmas tree. I gave it away at my retro holiday slide show in Hollywood.

The next morning the wind was howling at high speeds when I went back to tell Larry what a big hit the Christmas tree giveaway was and to thank him for flocking it special. When I got there it looked like the wind had attacked the place like a tornado. Trees were blown over in every direction. I looked over at Larry’s flocking booth and it was completely gone. Only a mashed, muddy mound of multicolored flocking remained. I asked what happen to the flocking tent? It blew away the wind. Where’s Larry? He’s gone and wasn’t coming back.

I stood there in the bluster among the windswept trees and red and white tent slapping in the breeze. For a moment I truly believed I was in some sort of crazy Christmas fairy tale where the flocking booth flew away with the flocker in it flocking a tree.

THANK YOU, LARRY, for the flocking!

Here’s to flock, flocking, flockers, flocked Christmas trees, Larry and YOU!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

December 25, 2009
Los Angeles

The flash of a flashbulb reflects in the living room window through which we see a tinsel-trimmed tree and someone peeking at the backside of a bevy of backyard beauties.  This is the valley of the dolls! Which ones are real? Meet Patti Playpal! She is a “companion doll.”

The contrast between the big dolls and their little owners, or lack there of, is shocking and proves there’s quite a difference between a baby doll and a life-size plastic playmate. Seems Patti is less like a doll and more like a special friend. They can even share clothing. And they need to because the dolls are better dressed.

All but the young lady on the right looks into the camera.  Perhaps she looks away in shame for she is the only one with a Patti Playpal wannabe, a fake, a fraud. Size-wise the faux Patti is slightly more monstrous, and judging by her hair and eyes, looks like she stuck her finger in a light socket.

The first Patti Playpal was born in 1959 at the Ideal Toy Company in New York City, the same fine company that introduced teddy bears to the world in 1903!

What I wanna know is… where are all the Patti Playpals and their playmates now!?

Here’s to Patti, her pals, Teddy, the Ideal Toy Company and YOU!

December 15, 2009
Los Angeles

PS! Join me THIS SUNDAY AFTERNOON, DEC 20th @ 2pm at the Egyptian Theater in Hollywood… for my RETRO HOLIDAY SLIDE SHOW! Celebrate New Years, Easter, 4th of July, Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas like you never have before. Your imagination will be inspired and your holiday spirit will soar! …also in Seattle, WA on Dec 27 and Portland, OR, Dec 29

CLICK HERE FOR TIX & INFO