Toilet Paper Princess, Somewhere, USA, 1959

Fake flowers fashioned from toilet paper blossom on a tree branch behind a lovely young lass posing like a princess. She reigns supreme in poofy, powder blue, long gloves and rosebud corsage. The harmony of design between her space age specs and tiny tiara is the crowning touch.

Toilet paper is one of the world’s most popular, yet least discussed, products. People only talk about it when there is none left.

We didn’t invent toilet paper in the U.S. but we certainly perfected it. According to the legend, Chinese royalty were the first to use it more than 600 years ago. (How do you say “toilet paper” in Chinese?) The first packaged sheets of toilet paper in the U.S. were manufactured in New York in 1857. In 1890, the fine folks at Scott Tissue in Philadelphia first rolled it and sold it as we know it today. In 1935 the big news in the bathroom was the intro of the “splinter-free” variety by Northern Tissue of Green Bay, Wisconsin. The golden age of toilet paper came in the 50s, 60s, 70s and 80s when “designer” and “decorator” toilet paper was printed and tinted in pretty pastel colors like green, blue, yellow and pink.

This reminds me of the time, during my years as a fashion designer in the 80s, I was on my way to Hong Kong and the flight had to be averted to Taipei. The most memorable thing about the night I spent there was the Taiwanese toilet paper. It was ultra, shocking pink and even seemed to glow in the dark. You don’t forget toilet paper like that.

You also don’t forget the traditional teenage right of passage, of getting your house toilet papered and, consequently, toilet papering friends’ houses. Do teenagers still do that? I’ll never forget when I was about 17 waking up in the morn looking out at the front yard only to discover we’d been toilet papered. I was SO proud! I felt toilet paper pride. Have you ever felt toilet paper pride?

Here’s to the pretty princess, toilet paper, toilet papering and you!

Charles Phoenix
September 3, 2010
Los Angeles